We all know men are from Mars and women are all mental to varying degrees and that given an identical situation the two sexes will choose to tackle it in ways that are the polar opposite of each other. Let us look at the example of packing a bag for, say, a seasons snowboarding in the Alps.
Male packing technique:
1. Open bag.
2. Fill bag with contents of wardrobe.
3. Realise on arriving in the Alps that you need seven more pairs of boxers, a dozen more socks, a less smelly pair of shoes, and more cash.
4. Send begging letter to friends / mother.
Female packing technique:
The technique favoured by girls differs somewhat as they actually take note of:
1. What they are packing.
2. What they pack it in.
3. How they pack it.
4. Whether they have covered all possible eventualities including work, social events and meteorite strikes that may lead to a clothing crisis at any point during their five month stay.
However, they will pay little attention to:
1. Whether what they are packing is suitable for their surroundings, which in the case of a season in the Alps involves enduring sub zero temperatures on a daily basis.
2. Whether or not they have packed two correctly matching shoes.
The internet gives like minded individuals the opportunity to share their passion with others, wherever they may be in the world and whatever their perversion. On this basis, a quick Google search revealed a number of message boards from which I could harvest invaluable tips to help me avoid beginner mistakes during my season in the mountains. The most popular tips were; do not take Ugg boots and buy some vacuum bags so that you can fit more into your rucksack. Which begs the question, how heavy is air?
So, with the mindset of an evacuee’s mother packing their one tiny suitcase, and with firsthand experience of EasyJet’s crippling excess baggage charges, I am going to try to pack sparingly to ensure my bag is within the allotted 20kg weight limit . It was not pretty last time they tried to charge me £40 for an extra five kilos, despite the fact I had no hand luggage. It took a childish, yet ultimately successful, ten minute argument that led to my girlfriend disowning me, a large crowd of spectators gathering and a request to retrieve my obese bag from the hold of the aircraft, before one of Stelio’s Oompa Loompa’s finally buckled.
I just need to find a way to get to the airport now.
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